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How to be a successful and ‘great’ author.

Consider this plot for a great suspense novel.

A well-known author is afraid of becoming non-relevant, and yesterday’s creator of best-sellers. So he hits upon the age-old remedy – become controversial for the heck of it.

His publishers baulk at the book he’s written – in the opinion of some of the more perverse and vocal members of the reading public, not only are his books unreadable, some even consider them unwritable (I agree).

So, the author hatches a plot. His marketing agent, the genius at his PR agency, and the author figure out that they must get the book banned. Like in the olden days American authors used to strive to get their books banned in Boston, to ensure it sold millions elsewhere.

Of course, the catch is that nowadays nobody bans a book for bad language, prurience, obscenity or even just plain awful writing – the reading public have to take their chances with such perils. So, they hit upon the ultimate sales weapon – the book must be banned for hurting the religious sentiments of a large part of the population of a large country which is a so-called democracy, but is really an appease-ocracy to various vote banks.

The rest is history…the book becomes and remains a best-seller although very few people ever read it; every time the author or the book gets mentioned in public, a few individuals start foaming at the mouth, and the others rush to placate them; a few individuals who wish to represent the sensible majority of readers feel aggrieved at the suppression of the freedom of speech; the vast majority of the population who had never heard of the author or the book google diligently for free pdfs or ebooks.

I think I will write this plot up as a thriller movie script, where a ninja team is out to get the author, and Jet Li, Jean Reno and Rajinikanth team up to foil their nefarious plans. All I need to thereafter is to get it banned somewhere.

Incidentally, and I think this disclaimer is really important, any resemblance this story may have to the recent event of an author who was to come/did not come/was banned/not banned/was threatened/was not threatened/could have come but chose not to/could have addressed over video/did not get permission/chose not to participate/whatever in a recent ‘literary event’ in said appeaso-cracy is purely coincidental. Indeed, such coincidences can exist only in the so-called minds of conspiracy theorists.

So there!


About thecrestedjay

I am passionate about football, jazz, classic rock, classic movies, crime, science fiction and P G Wodehouse. And also about NBA, western and Indian classical music. Since the wife will also read this blog, I cannot reveal my other passions in public. Have one son who plays the guitar, spent some time as an animator and now works for a digital marketing and advertising company. I also have one (1) wife. I spent a lot of my time on my music and books collection. I also have a passion for travelling but not a great deal of time and money to spend on this. Hopefully, in the future, I'll be able to do so.


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