English people sleeping in the sun to get a tan,
Pouring oil upon their faces like a frying pan,
Funny thing about it is they all go rosy red,
Next day when the peeling starts they’re crying in their beds!
Oh to be in England, now that spring is here!
Oh to be in England, drinking English beer!
A little more than half a century later, English get into the sun to do different things. Recently, a headline in the Guardian’s online edition caught my beadies. “Couple caught having sex on Queen’s lawn”, it said. Of course, you couldn’t expect me to let it go at that, so I dived straight into the story, and here’s the whole nine yards, as printed:
“Couple strip off in full view of hotels, pubs and shops near Windsor Castle and only stop when police arrive”.
Tourists enjoying a day of sightseeing at Windsor Castle got more than they bargained for today when a couple were caught having sex on the Queen’s lawn.
Ignoring signs asking visitors to Please Keep Off The Grass, the man and woman, said to be in their early 30, selected a spot near the castle’s Garter Tower and stripped off in full view of hotels, pubs and shops.
An employee at the Harte and Garter Hotel, which overlooks the castle, said guests went out to observe the scene and could not believe their eyes. The woman, who asked not to be named, said: “People were shouting things like ‘what are you doing?’ but the couple didn’t seem to care at all. It was going on for about 10 or 15 minutes, which is quite a long time, considering the location.”
Another witness, Mark Robinson, 44, said the couple carried on until police intervened. He said: “The officers told them to stop and the sight of the uniforms seemed to snap them out of it. They were unsteady on their feet and the guy pulled his trousers up and helped the girl put hers back on.
“The Japanese tourists were comparing their videos.”
A spokesman from Thames Valley police confirmed that two people had been arrested and cautioned for outraging public decency. It is not known whether the Queen was in residence at Windsor Castle at the time.
No wonder they refer to the country as Merrie England. Oh to be in England, now that summer is here!